Acts of Contrition
by savannah0707
Summary: Dimitri Belikov has nearly conquered the worst of his guilt.Unfortunately, he isn't finished facing the regrets of his former choices.With a new lease on life and the love of his existence always willing to stand beside him,it could still be an uphill battle to find forgiveness or simple acceptance for his less admirable judgment e next few days will be determined by fate.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

As soon as the door opened, I took hold of her, claiming her, needing her, my whole body insisting on having every part of her. My hands were on her immediately. The feel of having her so close, pressing her body to mine was exhilarating. I pushed her back inside of her hotel room as she pulled me in, closing the door securely behind us. My fingertips drew slow lines over the bare skin of her shoulders and arms, reaching her hands, pinning them at her back. My head dipped low, finally ready to press my mouth to hers. There was something different to this kiss. There was a shift in its heat. I didn't get that same electric pull I felt from Rose.

Roza.

I barely stopped myself from saying her name out loud, remembering that this was not Rose I was with. It was Tasha I held in my arms. It was Tasha's body I touched, undressed, and carried to her bed. Our clothes were quickly winding up in a small pile at the foot of the bed, and I couldn't ignore the fact that I was in bed, already nearly naked with my friend. I'd intentionally found my way to her hotel room after happening upon a particularly heated moment between Rose and Mason Ashford in a nearby hallway while on my rounds. I watched from a corner as she lifted onto her toes, letting his arms wrap around her, kissing him with the same intensity the had been between she and I a few weeks ago, while under a powerful lust charm. Sure, it had been a spell; sure it hadn't held the clear-headed emotion needed for real affection, but then again, it had. I had already confessed to Rose that I did want her before the charm took its effect. There was no use in denying that point. The enchantment would have been ineffective if I had not been attracted to Rose-And oh how I was attracted to so much of her. I told her I still wanted her, but that it was irrelevant. Our desires could not outweigh our duties. She had agreed, but just like me, I could see she was fighting for that shred of control.

After seeing her with Ashford, allowing him to have those pleasures that we denied each other, I found my way to Tasha's room after my shift finished. I wanted to erase the guilt of my jealousy, and erase those thoughts of Rose that continued to haunt me every day and night. No such luck. All I could think about was my mouth on her soft skin, her beautiful dark hair, and her fingers marking lines down my back as she said my name, whispering to me through that pure haze of emotion. I wanted to get back at her for an act I had no right to be upset over. How was I meant to do that when all I could do was picture her perfectly beneath me, tossing her head back as her hips lifted up against mine?

This was impossible.

And all of my memories of being so vulnerable and intimate with Rose, had been like a bucket of cold water thrown over me. I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this to Tasha. I was not that guy. I didn't want to be the man who could be with one woman while thinking of another. I sat up, releasing Tasha without warning, pulling my clothes back on as quickly as possible as she questioned my sudden lack of interest, which wasn't so much a lack of interest in what would inevitably happen, but more interest in being in this bed with someone else.

"I'm sorry Tasha." I apologized, standing from her bed. "I can't."

"Dimitri." She called out my name, but I was mostly dressed and already out the door before she could stop me.

My eyes flashed open in surprise, a freezing sweat beginning to dry over my skin. I sat up in bed, the events of my dream still fresh in my mind. Only it wasn't a dream. It was a memory come back to haunt me. Why was thinking of Tasha Ozera? Then I remembered-Today was the day I would escort Christian to see her for the last time. I flung myself back down onto the bed, groaning miserably into my pillow. This was going to be a long damn day.

The week after the Coronation was not a quiet one. Rose and I were now separated because of the requirement that once in power, the newly elected Moroi Queen would travel to meet many of the royal family heads around the country. Being head guard and best-friend to Queen Vasilisa Dragomir, meant that my Roza had been gone for weeks. I hated being separated from her at times like these. Now on my own with Christian at Court, I still had a lot to answer for. After the daring escape Rose and I went on with the help of our friends, there were questions to be answered, more consequences to be considered, and many amends to be made.

The first apology and dreaded discussion I needed to face was with Tasha Ozera. While Rose had insisted on making Adrian her responsibility, I maintained that Tasha would be mine to face first. I was to blame for the feelings she still harbored for me. I hadn't been able to be completely straight with her when I had refused her offer. I was in love with someone else, and could not fully explain where my heart was then, and where it will always be. Looking back on the complicated mess I was making, I suppose she could've guessed at what lay between me and Rose pretty easily. Perhaps it would have made for a less volatile and unnecessary situation between the three of us if I'd been upfront with my friend in the first place.

Under normal circumstances, Tasha would have already been sent to Eirus Prison, named coincidentally after the heart of Tartarus in Greek Mythology. Few people knew where it was built, and even fewer knew it even existed, holding those who committed crimes worse than those who resided at Tarasov Prison. Eirus was where the traitors were taken for execution. I think Vasilisa felt guilty sentencing Tasha, despite the clear evidence against her, and I figured that the transfer had been postponed in order to let Christian say a final goodbye. I had initially only planned on accompanying Christian to the cells as company (not thinking he would need protecting from his aunt), but as we made our way down the stairs to the Court cells, Christian looked ill. He very much looked like he might pass out.

"Sit down. Take a minute or two before you go in Christian." I instructed, directing the guardian in the hallway to bring Lord Ozera a bottle of water. I offered to go in first, so that he could catch his breath, and he gave a nod.

Once the other guardian returned, I left my new charge to speak to Tasha myself. I opened the door to see her in the nearest cell. She was lying back on her single sized cot, staring up at the ceiling. I knew that once I saw her face to face, the anger I'd felt when she nearly killed my Roza would bubble to the surface again. She had not yet realized it was me who'd entered, so I kept my steps quiet until reaching the bars.

"Tasha." I didn't recognize my own voice. There was a harshness that I even I had not anticipated.

I had good reason to be infuriated with her. She had killed Tatiana Ivashkov, the former Moroi Queen, in cold blood; she had framed Rose with her own stake, and she had influenced our friends into searching for and finding false evidence. I could choose in this moment to hate Tasha for the rest of time. I could steel myself and force her to feel every bit of guilt that she still had not accepted. Finally, then I could walk away without any regret of letting her face her fate alone. That however was not me either. Plus, I felt partially to blame for Tasha's circumstances. All that considered, there was also the fact that through all of those criminal acts, she had accomplished something I thought impossible. It was because of her actions, and because Rose and I were forced to leave that my heart found its way back to the person it needed most. I was also able to finally seek out the absolution I thought was lost after the things I had seen and done.

My voice softened then. "Tasha, we need to talk."

Recognizing my voice, she sat up, but kept her head lowered. "I'm so sorry Dimka." She used my nickname in such a manipulative way now, seeking my sympathy.

It was not something I was willing to give her this time. I now knew the truth behind her façade. "You are sorry that you got caught Natasha." The comment and the use of her full first name shook her enough to look up at me, but before she could refute my accusation, I forced myself to continue. This was going to be an incredibly challenging conversation, but I knew I would not get another chance, so now was the time to say everything that needed saying.

"Do you know how difficult it was for Rose to discover that you were the one to set her up for murder? She never expected…I never thought you would… You were willing to let her be executed for a crime she had no hand in." The full weight of this situation began to set in all over again. I wanted to know why. Well, I knew why, but really, I didn't, and I wanted her to take responsibility. Taking in a deep breath, I calmed my nerves as best I could. "She told me that telling the truth in Court like that was the hardest thing she has ever had to do. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to hear."

My face must have given some of my own emotions away, because Tasha stood, reaching out to touch my arm. I was standing too close. Her touch made me cringe, and I flinched back a foot, surprising her too.

"Don't do that." I ordered.

"Dimka, please." She pulled out that soft calculating timbre I used to fall for.

"You set her up out of jealousy. Is that it?" I was about to say more on the subject, but was interrupted.

"Of course I was jealous. She is not the one you should be with. She cannot give you the things I know you want. She's not good enough. Trouble follows her everywhere Dimka."

"Don't call me that anymore." The truth was it hurt to hear her use that name still, knowing the truth. "You clearly know nothing about Rose, and less about me than you think. You never intended to see her as a friend. You were studying her so that you could use her." My statement was more a musing to myself than to her. I had a brief thought then about what Tasha actually knew. "When did you know? When did you realize I was in love with her?"

"Immediately. I could see it on your face the first day you introduced us. Then it was undeniable at the Christmas brunch. You couldn't keep your eyes from her, even when she brought Mason Ashford with her."

"She is better for me than anyone. She was willing to go to the depths of Hell to find me. She didn't just save my heart. She saved my soul. Can you say you would have done the same thing? Could you have found the same courage to stake me, whether it was to kill me or save me? Rose made that hard choice, and I am eternally grateful."

"The difference between me and her, is that I never would've put you in that sort of danger. I never would've let you go into a situation that would cause me to lose you."

She was obviously talking about the battle at St. Vladimir's, where I had lost my soul. I furrowed my brow, and kept a tentative hold on my control. I did not want to say something I would regret.

"Let me? Tasha, that was all my choice. It is my job to go into those battles. It is my duty to protect. I was in that situation to save Moroi, Dhampirs, and Guardians who had been taken. The difference between you and Rose is that _she_ understands that. She and I are the same whether you want to see it or not."

"She is not perfect Dimitri!"

I couldn't believe she was still arguing this, but I had to admit, she had a good point. It made me laugh to myself. "You're right. Rose is by no means perfect. In fact, she can often be stubborn, reckless, impatient, infuriating, incorrigible, and she often drives me crazy in more ways than I care to count. In spite of all that, I love her unconditionally and entirely. Perhaps that is the reason I am so determined to convince her to marry me." I could see how much the truth of this statement stung her.

"You shouldn't have to convince her Dimitri." Her eyes were cold and still looking for any way to get through. "Does she know?" She smiled, letting the contemptuous question surface between them after all of this time. "Does your Rose know about what happened between us? Did you tell her about how you showed up at my hotel room, tearing at my clothes with all of that desire and passion?"

"Stop." I said.

"Did you tell her the way your mouth started at mine, slowly working down to…"

"Stop it!" I warned her again, louder this time.

"Maybe you mentioned the way your hands touched every part of me. Did you? Did you tell her any of that?"

"I said stop it Tasha." My voice was a low growl. "Keep it up, and I will refuse to let Christian set foot in this room."

She laughed a little. "You didn't say a word to her." She provoked my anger and animosity. "Coward."

That small tenuous hold on my temper was so close to breaking. I would need to walk away soon. "I'm not sure how anything said between me and Rose is your concern."

"It isn't. I simply cannot see her forgiving something like that after so much time, and all that has occurred. Would it hurt for me to leave one last message for her? After all, she hasn't even come to say goodbye to me."

"Do not threaten me Natasha Ozera."

Now she was defiant. That was my cue to say my own goodbye. I took that step toward her cell again. "My time is almost up Tasha. Christian is waiting outside, and I don't doubt this is the last time you will see either of us. You may not have any regrets about what you've done to me or Rose, but I suggest you dig deep to find it within yourself to seek forgiveness from Christian." She opened her mouth to speak, but I was not finished. "It is now my job to protect him, so I hope that when he walks in here, you are able to show some shred of remorse for causing him to lose you too."

Tasha pursed her lips, standing back on her heels rebelliously. She stayed quiet for a few seconds, considering a response to what I had said. I honestly was not expecting her words in return.

"Go to Hell Dimitri." Her tone was flat.

And that was that. That was how this once strong friendship would be remembered.

"Goodbye Tasha." I said just before opening the door, allowing Christian the time he needed with his aunt.

The hesitation in him as he reached the door was not visible to anyone else. I only recognized it because I often held the same shaky control myself. Christian and I really had a lot in common. I gave him a nod of encouragement as he passed by. Closing the door behind him, I wondered if Tasha would take my advice, and show a little more compunction than she had with me

Being at Court full time, I now had an easy flexibility in my guardian duties for Christian. After he was secure in his conversation with Tasha, I could have run off to busy myself elsewhere. I seriously considered the option, but instead stuck around, waiting patiently for my new royal charge. The strigoi stigma upon his family had already been present for years, but with this new development adding murder to the Ozera name, he would have to overcome so much more. I waited the next few hours. When he finally emerged, his eyes were still a little bloodshot, but he looked pleased to see that I had waited.

"How about we go and get a drink." He offered with a smile, knowing I likely had the same thought after talking to Tasha.

It was done. For better or worse, one awkward and terrible conversation was out of the way. I had little answers for the questions I still had, but Rose and I were better off now. Another layer of guilt had been lifted from me.

 **So, while I am working on a few new chapters for Part 3 of Last Priestess, I have also been wanting to write this Vampire Academy piece for quite a while now. I have not been able to get these three conversations out of my head, so hopefully, posting them will help. Next up is a lovely and enlightening conversation between Dimitri and Alberta.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this first chapter. There will only be two more.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

I wasn't able to sleep at all. My mind had been so busy thinking about what Tasha had said. Did Rose need to know about what happened between me and Tasha? Not particularly. Would it upset her to know that I had come so close to having sex with another woman? Undoubtedly. And the only thing that would make it worse was that it had been Tasha Ozera. It still upset me to know that Rose had been in quite a similar position with Adrian. I did not like to think about it, but it was part of her past. I could not find much justification in the excuses that Rose and I hadn't been able to be together at that point, or even that I had simply done it because I was jealous and yes, extremely troubled that I couldn't tell her how I was feeling about her. I realized almost too late that just because I couldn't be with Rose, did not mean that I should jump into bed with someone else as a substitute. Rose and I were not the types to keep secrets from each other now. I trusted her more than anyone, so maybe honesty continued to be the best policy in this case too. Maybe.

I was pretty deep in thought on this issue when a hand touched to my shoulder, making me jump. I had not heard Alberta enter into the Guardian lounge just across from the Court Headquarters. She wore a worried look on her face, but I couldn't place the worry itself.

"Sorry Dimitri." She apologized, standing above me.

I offered her a seat at the small table with me, but she refused, already running late.

"I just wanted to check in with you after receiving your assignment to Christian Ozera. How are things going with you and the young lord?"

I smiled at her interest in the budding friendship between me and Christian.

"Things couldn't be better."

I noticed how nervous she looked before she spoke again, the next question inevitable after the latest events.

"Did he see his aunt yesterday?"

I gave her a single nod of my head, unwilling to discuss that point with anyone but Christian himself. Christian and I had a very important conversation the day we were assigned to one another. We sat in a nearby coffee-shop for hours as I told him about my friendship and duty to Ivan, I told him about me and Rose, my family in Russia, and many other things I felt he should know with as much time as we'd be spending together from here on out. When I finished, I made a point to mention that he will always have my confidence, I will never betray anything he should tell me, and that he can ask me anything within reason. If Christian wanted others to know anything about his final visit with Tasha, he could be the one to tell them.

"It is such a shame." Alberta continued talking. "First his parents, now his aunt." She shook her head. "He is quite lucky to have you as a guardian, Dimitri. You both seem to trust one another, and that will bode well for your present and future relationship."

I finished the last of my coffee and stood with her. I threw out the empty cup as we walked out into the fresh air. Neither of us was expecting the call for me to go retrieve my eighteen-year old Moroi charge at a bar so early in the day. I gave a long sigh before preparing to take off.

"He's young Dimitri. Go easy. He's also having a rough time."

"I'm just going to talk to him." I promised her.

"Before you go," the woman stopped, noticing that I was now anxious to find Christian, "could you and I have a short meeting in about an hour?"

"Of course Alberta." I agreed. "I will meet you in an hour." I took off running across a few courtyards, through a few more buildings, and into the Moroi bar that I immediately considered had served alcohol to a minor. One guardian was admonishing the bartender, and I would deal with him shortly myself, but…"

"I know what you are going to say."

I stood looking at him from across the room. He knew when I had arrived, watching the door as I appeared. He was surrounded by a few other guardians, including Hans who looked pissed that I had "let" this happen.

"Rules Belikov. You need to set the rules. This one clearly needs more boundaries."

"I will take care of this." I assured him, attempting to shove him and the others out the door. I needed a few minutes alone with Christian now. He looked broken. Devastated. There was a reason for this behavior, and I was pretty sure I knew the cause.

"What happened?" I questioned, my best and fiercest Guardian stance in play.

Christian told me everything. He had barely been on time to see the dark tinted SUV drive his aunt away to Eirus Prison. As it drove by him, he met Tasha's eyes. She apparently had not taken my advice, and gave him no reaction, staying completely indifferent to the circumstances. Without another word, I walked over to the bar area, reached behind, and pulled out a bottle with two shot glasses.

Christian lifted a single eyebrow, looking at me like I had suddenly become a whole different version of myself.

"I do actually understand." I told him, pouring two shots of the vodka. I drank one and slid the other over to the distraught man with me .It was weak in comparison to Russian vodka, but he could handle it well.

We were half way through the bottle when my cell phone rang. I composed myself as much as possible, pulling it up to my ear.

"Belikov." I answered.

"Dimitri?"

My heart soared multiple levels at the sound of her voice. "Hello Roza." I sighed happily, giving Christian a stern signal to stay put while I stepped a foot away, my eyes never leaving him.

I took the vodka bottle with me, listening to everything Rose said, reveling in every word, every inflection in her voice, and each and every 'I love you' or 'I miss you' spoken. She told me all about the Masquerade Ball Lissa had been invited to with Rose at her side. Rose wasn't able to be in costume, but had made a mental list of masks and gowns she admired. She also had a list of dresses she wouldn't be caught dead in. This made me laugh outright. Oh how I missed her so much. When she finished, she asked about my time with Christian.

"We are drinking shots of vodka." I was upfront about the situation. As I said, she and I are careful not to keep much from each other. I could hear the inquiry forming in her silence. My heavy sigh only caused her to worry that much more. "Yesterday was an extremely long brutal day Roza. Today isn't looking much better." I told her then all about my talk with Tasha and Christian's talk. This evoked sympathy and regret that she couldn't be at my side if only for comfort, promising mass amounts of comforting upon her return, which would be in just two more days.

"I will hold you to that." I joked with her. After another few moments, we were laughing again, happy and comfortable before our professional lives called us away.

Our interruption came from her end this time, in the form of the Queen, who sent me hugs and Christian kisses. Rose and I ended our conversation with the usual loving sentiments before hanging up.

I then saw Christian sway in his chair. This was one of those moments I would have to apologize for later, but I would cross that bridge when the time came. My plan was not to get drunk with him whenever he had a problem, or teach him that it was a solution to his problems, but this one time was called for. Special circumstances and all. I picked him up to a stand, supporting him as we slowly walked back to the royal quarters he shared now and then with Lissa. Once back in bed and asleep, I made sure Christian had enough water and snacks beside the bed, as well as two guardians standing outside his door. I instructed them to check on him every five minutes. Hopefully I would not be gone long. I did not need an inebriated royal Moroi sneaking around Court, causing trouble. I had a meeting with Alberta in exactly ten minutes.

As I made my way to my unexpectedly scheduled meeting, I couldn't help but feel as though I were being watched. The feeling was not eerie, but troubled. How I knew that, I couldn't say. I glanced around, and saw nothing out of the ordinary until to my right inside the small coffee shop, I spotted another long, anxiety-ridden, hyperventilating-inducing conversation that needed to be approached with strong caution before Rose returned.

Rose had made her opinion crystal clear that she felt talking to Adrian was her responsibility and hers alone. I disagreed silently, but had given her the opportunity she needed to speak with him first. I'd heard later that during their short talk, Adrian had placed much of the blame for his heartache on her. The truth was, it had not been Rose alone to cause this much discord between the three of us. I was there too. I had allowed myself to confess my true feelings and then have sex with Rose, knowing that she was still with Adrian, and his feelings were involved too. I was close enough to Alberta's office area that I could take two minutes to at the very least see if he would be receptive to talking or listening to me. Warily, I walked across to the shop, possibly channeling that signature reckless abandon my Roza was famous for. I wasn't going to cause a scene, but I had to know if my attempts would be in vain.

I nodded hello to a few other guardians, giving them a subtle head's up that there might be a public showdown in another thirty-seconds. Moving closer to Adrian, he halted my approach with his hand, throwing it in the air to stop me.

"If you think I'm going to sit here and let you make me feel even worse than I do, you've got another thing coming."

I had to talk fast as he began to stand, picking up his latte, wanting nothing more in this world than to hide away and self-medicate this entire uncomfortable situation out of existence.

"Adrian." I made a futile attempt at getting him to stay.

"It's lord Ivashkov, Guardian Belikov!

Really? He was going to play this game? Well, two could play it, and I'd had so much more patience and experience to do so.

"Of course." I smiled with as little arrogance as I could manage around him. "Lord Ivashkov, it is time that you and I talk. You may not want to, but…"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DON'T WANT TO!" His voice rose in volume, causing the few other customers to watch with curiosity, and causing the other guardians to prepare for that showdown.

"Neither of us has a choice if we are going to come to terms with this." I finished without a reply from him.

He simply shoved by me, pushing to get out of the enclosed space. I honestly wasn't sure if I had helped the situation by offering to talk, or if I'd done more damage. Due to my spur-of-the-moment stop, I arrived at Alberta's office door with about forty-five seconds to spare. Her office was in a small yet ornately designed buildings in what was referred to as the "Business District". Across the hall was the space Hans occupied. I knocked on Alberta's door, receiving an offer to walk inside. Alberta was looking at a chart on the wall, along with what looked like a fairly detailed report on Alchemist paper. I briefly thought then of Sydney, wondering what happened to her, and hoping she hadn't gotten into too much trouble with her superiors or with Abe. Alberta beckoned me further into her office, making sure I closed the door. It was going to be one of _those_ meetings? Damn.

"One of these days I will summon the courage to ask about how you were all able to pull off such an elaborate and extensive plan so secretly, and in such a short amount of time." She spoke with genuine interest, a hint of a smile flashing across her face. "Your parts were all played to perfection. The Queen never once let\on, even going so far as to side with those who condemned Rose. I wouldn't have ever suspected her involvement except for her declaration of holding her own evidence." Her musings were now becoming connected puzzle pieces in her mind. She offered me a chair to sit across from her very organized desk.

She saw that I was still unwilling to give away anything about that subject. Abe, Janine, and Vasilisa had sworn all of us to a pact on the whole issue.

"That deceptively brilliant getaway is not why I called you in. I will try not to take up too much of your time." The older woman turned serious once again, leaning forward in her own chair with a more rigid position. "I want this opportunity to conduct my own inquiry before Hans gets the itch to begin his own quest for answers and revelations. I am on your side to the end Dimitri. You and Rose are literally two of the best guardians I've known in a very long time."

I nodded, never willing to be less than honest with Alberta either. I admired and respected her too damned much. I suspected that I knew where this conversation was headed. If it wasn't about the oh so daring Court escape, then it was likely the same issue being debated in both private and public gossip circles around the Moroi Court.

"I want to talk about you and Rose."

I knew it.

I guess in a way, I owed Alberta just as much of an apology. She'd been a good friend and colleague. Deceiving her wasn't easy, and I could not deny my share of self-reproach when around her. Silently, she seemed to consider the proper way of framing her questions. I braced myself for a lot of yelling. Instead, she surprised me.

"I am not in a position to condone or reprimand anything that has happened. It is so rare for Dhampirs like us to find love like you two have. Some part of me could often see how much you two began to care and watch out for one another. I also saw that that caring surpassed a student-teacher relationship." She paused in thought again.

"Just so we are clear on the subject though, I want to know what, if anything…" she searched again for an appropriate way of wording her question, "what, if anything physically intimate or inappropriate occurred while you were back at the school."

I stuck to the same version of this story. "We were so careful not to let anything happen then." This was the same thing Rose and I told her parents when they asked. Janine seemed to believe us, but Abe, well, he would eventually ask more questions. "Rose and I were in agreement that because we would both be guarding Vasilisa, it was better that we should concentrate on her. She was more important than what we were feeling." That part was true.

"So, when she took off running for Russia?" Alberta asked.

Shit. She was good. She'd apparently put more pieces together than I had assumed. I was still coming to terms with the Russia ordeal when it came to Rose, so I kept this part vague too.

"She went to Russia in search of me. She found me." My tone must have given up my reservation, because Alberta backed off a bit.

"I don't…I could never regret any part of falling in love with Rose Hathaway. I also don't regret much that happened as we fell in love again."

"Much?" Alberta caught the word, guessing there were some things I did regret.

"I am disappointed and repentant that I hurt her. I regret breaking her heart after being restored by Vasilisa; I regret not grabbing hold of her immediately after; Most of all, I regret pushing her into the arms of someone else, even for a short amount of time. We lost so much time that could've been spent happy and healing together as one, as we do now. I caused her pain, and in turn caused myself more pain. If I could take it all back and fix it, I would in a split second. I will wrestle with the choices I made, but I know without a doubt that I will never give up loving her." I let my thoughts wander over the way Rose touched me, the way she ran her hands through my hair, and even the way she still occasionally called me 'Comrade'. It was all done with such love, and I never wanted to let that go.

"She willingly and devotedly offers me everything I didn't think possible in this life we lead. I can deal with the rumors, the insinuations, and even the constant looks of disdain so long as I have Roza in my life." Again, I saw a smile ghost over Alberta's face.

"You two have been put through so much. I wonder how anyone could survive such great lengths and measures. That is precisely why I cannot bring myself to reprimand this. I honestly believe after watching you and Rose, there are few people who would go so far for someone that they love. She risked her own life by going after you when you were turned. She found a way to bring you back to her… to us." She corrected. "Even the most cynical person cannot deny the devotion in that. You've both come through the last year better people and better for the trials and tribulations."

I nodded in both recognition and agreement.

"Speaking of trials," Alberta changed the subject, satisfied with what I'd had to say to her. "I wish you had been there to see her. She killed it in her final test. You would have been so proud of your girl if you'd seen what she did. Thanks to your training, she holds more records back at St. Vladimir's than you do at St. Basil's."

This time I smiled wide. "I am always proud of her. I heard from Guardian Castille that you gave Rose a more challenging trial exam."

Alberta shrugged, leaning back in her chair. "She had already killed how many Strigoi? You think we were going to be a problem for her?"

Now we were both laughing, in better understanding of where we stood on these issues.

 **/**

 **A couple of Author Notes:**

 **First, I'm sorry about the typos in chapter one-I'm on my way to go fix them after I finish writing everything.**

 **Second, I hope you all enjoyed reading the interaction between Christian and Dimitri after Tasha was take, the start of a conversation between Dimitri and Adrian (Come on, you knew this one was coming), and the discussion had between Alberta and Dimitri.**

 **I've seen the reviews for this story so far. Thank you so much. I'm glad this one is being enjoyed. I'm having so much fun writing it. And, as far as the request to write a chapter on Dimitri telling Rose about Tasha-I'd had that thought too, and I'm going to start writing that one after I finish up with Adrian.**

 **Thanks again, and enjoy the next chapter when it's posted. ETA for the next chapter is tomorrow some time.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sleep came easier to me tonight. After dealing with Christian's drunk, distraught, and devastated behavior, a short confrontation with Adrian Ivashkov, and a talk with Alberta, who turned out to be the easiest of my troubles, all I had wanted to do was shower and crawl into bed. The rest of my day had been spent running drills with other guardians, and helping to lecture the newest guardians on training routines and schedules. All in all, the day went smoother than I had anticipated. By the time I checked in on Christian for the hundredth time, I made sure he found a solid sense of logic. I'm still uncertain whether he will eventually find any resolution to whatever Tasha said to him when they were alone, or with her death. Like his parents, Christian loved his aunt. She was the one to step up and raise him after the guardians killed his parents. Granted, they had turned Strigoi, but still…

An hour or so later, I was in bed, finishing up another novel. My dreams began normal enough as I fell into the much needed deep sleep. I always loved dreaming of my Rose. I always took pleasure in the way she could effortlessly make me submit to any and everything she wanted with just a kiss. Her mouth was intoxicating, urging me to surrender every bit of myself to her, but it was her body that posed many more dangers to me. I could spend hours, even days and weeks, worshipping each incomparable flawless inch of her body. She could bring me to life in more ways than one. She was always the most beautiful woman in the room, but more importantly, she was the most beautiful woman in my world. Minutes may have passed, or perhaps it had been hours, but my dream grew restless after some time. I grew restless.

"Roza. My Roza." I whispered her name against her bare skin, holding her closer as she soon started to fade.

A few more confusing seconds later, she was gone. The scene around me was changing, filling out around me into an expansive, out-of-this-world garden. The topiaries, the trees, and flowers all felt like a poetic landscape, like finding yourself in the Garden of Eden. There was however a distortion to it that set in after a strict reality check. It wasn't quite a real dream.

"I brought Rose here once. She didn't appreciate it as much as you do."

The recognizable voice startled me. I spun, trying desperately not to let my anxiety show, but Adrian always seemed to know what others were feeling. He kept his back to me, staring pensively at a long line of apple trees, recalling a piece of his time with Rose to me. A spirit dream. This was one of his spirit dream walks. I, like others had become aware of Adrian's power shortly after my restoration. I still found it to be a bit troubling. It was equivalent to someone invading your mind, digging through private thoughts and secrets that were never meant to be shared with anyone. I didn't like this situation at all. I wasn't about to let him go rummaging through my dreams and thoughts without permission just because he could. I wasn't about to do any talking with him on these terms.

"You refused to talk to me today when I suggested it, but you are expecting me to talk after you decide to trap me like this?" I did not like feeling cornered into hearing what he now felt such a need to say to me.

"Now you don't want to talk?"

I shook my head as a wave of dizziness swept over me. Damn spirit dream.

"Not like this. Not here. I will not have an adult conversation with you in a dream because you refuse to man up and face me." My arms crossed over my chest, hardening my aggressive stance.

Turning around to face me, Adrian scoffed out loud, but I knew I had hit a nerve with him. Part of him was still afraid of what I might do or say, in or out of a dream. After all, I'd been Strigoi for months, and before that I was venerated as a god-like guardian. It was petty and slightly arrogant, but I let him go on believing it all. There was no harm in it yet.

"Actually," Adrian spoke up, "I did this for your sake. I thought about what you said, and I agree. We need to talk." He made an indiscernible face. "I need to talk." He corrected.

So that was his plan now. He didn't want to talk. He wanted to get me on unequal playing ground. He wanted the advantage of my being unable to escape so that he could berate me for what happened between me and Rose for as long as he saw fit. Well, that was not how this was going to go down. I may feel bad for the guy, but I wasn't going to willingly be his venting post or punching bag.

"I figured the fewer ear and eyes around Court that witness our exchange, the less gossip and lies we will both have to contend with. Rose mentioned and I've noticed how outside of your professional responsibilities, you value your privacy, choosing to actively stay from the public eye."

He looked smug now. He knew that he had me pinned on that point too. I wondered though if he was in fact doing this for my benefit or his. "I'm still not agreeing to do this here. It is cowardly. If you really want to talk to me, or expect me to listen, you know where to find me. Instead of glaring at me with hatred, imagining my untimely violent death, or using my face as a dartboard on your wall, you are welcome to find me, pull me aside, and have an equally willing civilized conversation Adrian." I knew that I had made another good point. I'd also pissed him off. He clearly did not appreciate me basically calling his behavior out as cowardly or childish. The dreamscape blinked away, leaving me to a dark dreamless sleep the remainder of the night.

The following morning, I had the best thought of all. My Rose would return soon. While I still had not come to a firm decision on what I would or would not say about Tasha, I was happy that she'd be back in my arms soon. Tomorrow was Sunday, so thanks to Christian and Vasilisa synching our schedules with theirs, Rose and I both had the day off. We could be alone all day. I had hours to still consider my Tasha history reveal, so I put it to the back of my mind. After showering, I dressed and prepared to walk out the door, momentarily blocked by a young Moroi woman Adrian hired to deliver his messages. I took a small piece of paper from her that held the Ivashkov crest at the top

 _Belikov,_

 _You prefer witnesses to our talk, but I need to keep some confidentiality to this. Meet me in the courtyard closest to the Queen's royal quarters (the one with the holly trees) around two. We'll call this location a compromise on my part._

 _Adrian._

So, he was willing to face me and even start to talk about our ongoing problem. It was a start. I was to some extent taken aback by his willingness to meet me in reality. I would have to shift things around in my schedule, but it might be worth it. Keeping my self busy through the day was easy enough. Christian was also thrilled that our girls would be back shortly, so he spent his time making plans for him and Vasilisa. There was very little going on today, so Alberta and Hans were fine with my schedule change. Well, Hans was…tolerant. He allowed it.

After finding my way to the pre-arranged garden courtyard Adrian chose, I was five minutes early. I wasn't the first to arrive though. Adrian sat under a blooming holly tree, reading. The tension in his upper body said that he knew I'd arrived, sensing my aura or some such thing.

"You showed up." He recognized my presence.

I hope he wasn't planning on an attempt at intimidation. "Why wouldn't I? You asked, sort of, so I don't see the harm in it."

The young royal stood, closing his book with a non-committal nod to me. "I'll start then."

I was still trying to get a decent read on him in order to determine what sort of direction this would go with him.

"Here's the thing. I am more and more convinced with the passing days that you knew what you were doing from the start."

I gave a tilt of my head, silently questioning his full meaning. I had the feeling that his damning confrontational accusations were going to start sooner than expected.

"When you left Court with Rose, when you decided to "help" her, despite claiming your lack of interest in her, you had to know escaping with her would bring the two of you closer somehow." Adrian started to move, walking around me, putting together his own twisted broken-hearted version of what happened.

"I have had weeks to review all of this in my head. I cannot forget you and Rose both stopping me from joining what at some point turned into a little sex-adventure from state to state between you two."

Sex-adventure? Seriously? That's what he thought of me at this point? That's what he thought of Rose? Yes, it was probably a good thing that I had agreed to let him speak first. I would not respond yet, but if and when the time came for me to talk, there would be a lot said on this subject.

"Did either of you think even for a moment about others involved?"

Fair point there. There were others involved who didn't deserve this treatment. I had told Rose just before we confronted the Dashkov brothers outside of the hotel that I didn't want to be that guy-the guy that took a woman from another guy.

"I will say that it is impossible for you and I to avoid each other at this point. We are bound to the same circle of friends in our lives. We are both friends with the Queen." He explained. "Christian is your new charge, and I am becoming friendlier with Lissa's clueless royal boyfriend. Rose is Lissa's Head guard, and the two of you have found your way back together." He paused, I think taking time to determine my own mood.

I would never truly get used to his spirit abilities.

"Unfortunately, it would be irresponsible, petty, and cruel of me to try and have you transferred away from Court. Rose would also never forgive me for it. I guarantee she would want to hurt me." Adrian sighed in that dramatic fashion of his. "And then there's me."

Adrian's selfishness never ceased to amaze me. It always came back to him in some way.

"I cannot bring myself to separate myself from Court, Lissa, and my other friends here. I'm just not that selfless."

You got that right. At least he admitted it. "What do you suggest we do then?" I dared to question him.

I was genuinely curious to hear what sort of solution he might bring to the table. I watched him pace for a good period of time. It was taking him too long to respond, and I was seriously beginning to regret even considering talking to Adrian. He would get over this loss of love. I wanted to think that it wasn't actually so catastrophic for him, but I thought about the damage and obliteration I felt when I thought I had lost Rose for good. I could undoubtedly see how terrible that pain would be for him. I had been in love with Rose longer, and I knew her better, but that did not erase what he felt.

"I've heard it said that there are situations where rivals can on occasion be around each other for short periods of time without throwing sharp objects, or making idle death threats." Adrian finally spoke up.

I had a hard time keeping a straight face from that comment. "Where'd you hear that myth?" I wasn't trying to sound snide, but after my confessional with Alberta yesterday, and my hurtful and final ending with Tasha the day before that, I couldn't help but take it out on someone I didn't have to be nice to yet.

I was having a bad week. Fortunately, Adrian paid little attention to my sarcasm. He gave a shrug of his shoulders.

"Our problem, well, my problem is seeing, imagining, or having to remotely consider visible sightings of you two together, looking so in love. It is destructive to me. It is what makes me want to hate you, or take the time to torture you in a succession of spirit dreams." His smile was half-teasing and half evil genius, planning discordant methods of torture.

"I would suggest that so long as you and Rose can keep your hands off of each other and keep a distance of let's say, ten feet while in my presence, you and I can work on being publicly civil."

The laughing in my head was hard to ignore. "You're not serious." I said, only to learn that he was in no way joking.

"You're right. Ten feet isn't enough. Make it twenty?"

Immediately I realized which ridiculous path he was taking. His new plan was to either joke his way out, medicate with whatever substance he had available, or become so unreasonable in his thinking that I would likely back off. He must've seen that I was on to him, and not about to agree to such an outrageous term.

"Do you have any idea what you have done? Do you even care? I mean, you got the girl, and she has been madly in love with you from the start. Why should you care?"

"Adrian, please, let me…"

"No really, let's you and I add this up once and for all." He counted off on his fingers as he went through a list he had obviously been keeping for a good amount of time. "I got her to Victor Dashkov's trial when you couldn't. Point for me. She thanked you, assuming it was your doing, because she has you on some crazy oversized pedestal. That puts me back to zero. Point to you. Even before all of that," he stepped closer to me, "she wouldn't give me the time of day or a chance to prove myself because she was busy hoping you might fall in love with her too."

This was far more uncomfortable than I had thought it might be. He was going to return back to the history of me and Rose hiding our feelings and those stolen kisses, the moments that we could hold each other or touch without others assuming the worst, or those split seconds of time that I could look into her eyes, getting lost in the possibility of running my hands into her thick dark locks of hair, and moving down to her… I shook my head, refusing to get lost in thoughts of Rose. It was so easy to do, especially when I missed her this much. I had to stay focused on Adrian and the purpose of this atonement.

"FOR THE LOVE OF…"

He was yelling. When had he started yelling? There was no hiding the animosity in him now.

"SHE WENT AFTER YOU IN RUSSIA AFTER YOU WERE TURNED STRIGOI!" His voice then lowered marginally. "For Christ's sake, she set Victor Dashkov free after what he'd done, with some half-cocked idea that he might actually stay true to any promise he made, and help her and Lissa learn to restore you. I'm pretty certain that pushes you up to ten-thousand points by my count. What kind of person does that if they aren't totally gone in love with someone? "

He was now standing closer, his index finger threatening to point itself at me, but then he turned away, an emotional upheaval on its way soon.

"I never stood a chance in measuring up to you, did I?"

"But when she returned from Russia, she was with you. You had her Adrian. And I am glad that she did have you."

"No! Don't!" He almost shouted again, this time bravely pushing that same finger into my chest. "You do not get to tell me how you are glad she had me while you were gone, or how happy you were that she was still happy, because we both know that she was never completely happy. Yes, I had her. Ten-thousand points back to me this time. That entire time we were together, she was fighting for you, fighting to get to you, fighting to find you, and… I. LOVED. HER. BELIKOV."

I had to take a step back, both to avoid the pressure he used in pointing at me, and the insanely dark position he was currently in. I watched as he calmed minutely, taking a few deep breaths before we continued.

"Every time she told me that she was strictly with me, that the two of you were finished, I should've known better." He shrugged again. "Perhaps I did know. I let you both run off together when Lissa and Abe suggested it. I didn't give it a second thought. I wanted her to be safe. I trusted her. I trusted you."

He had trusted me and I had shattered all of that. I would not change the fact that I had confessed my feeling to Rose again, but hindsight… yes, I agree that I should've let Rose talk to Adrian before either of took advantage of the situation, or each other. Then again, I couldn't help but question: Would talking to Adrian first have change things in any way? Would it have lessened the hurt? The damage? I wasn't in a position to know the answers.

There was silence between us now. It lasted long enough for it to become increasingly uncomfortable. It was so unnerving that I started to wish he was still criticizing me for more wrong-doings.

Adrian finally spoke again. "This is the part where you take over the conversation Belikov. You get to tell me how sorry you are, and how if you could take it all back, you'd do it all different."

He was going to listen for a change? This was such a shock that I had to take a few seconds to recover and figure out what I should say to him. I think what I was about to say would stun him as much as it did me to figure it out.

"I'm not sorry." The three words escaped my mouth before I could find the ability to hold them back, but I had figured quite a few things out while listening to Adrian martyr himself.

I saw shock turn to fury in Adrian's eyes. I had about three seconds then to diffuse the potentially bad outburst nearing his surface. I wouldn't have been surprised when I put my hands up in surrender, if he had taken the opportunity to punch me. I also might not have stopped him. The comment on its own was out-of-line, but I had a point that went with it, one that did not justify, but explained my reasoning. I did however need to cautiously side-step the fragile spirit user.

"Hear me out."

He laughed first. "You tell me you aren't sorry after I pour out my soul over these issues, and then you want me listen to you not apologize?"

"Adrian, I listened as quietly as possible while you chose to attack my integrity and my principles. I held my tongue and my fist while you put Rose down. I suggest you sit down and listen to everything I'm going to say to you." Now I was standing close to him. It was my turn now.

The royal Moroi sat on the bench that I had unintentionally backed him into.

"I had every intention of apologizing for some of the things done to you when we started this talk, but listening to you go on about how you are the only "victim" in this triangle has given me a brand new perspective. Rose was right. She cannot balance you. You've made yourself out to be a single victim here because she and I are together and you are left brokenhearted. You haven't realized how much potential you have."

"Holy Hell!" Adrian stood, coming chest to chest with me. "You're spouting off that same BS that she did. The only difference is that you aren't sorry about what happened."

I took a step back. "I am sorry that you were hurt. I am sorry that you were caught in the crossfire of these intense feelings of love that won't go away. But, I'm not sorry that I have her in my life again. I can admit regret for the way that things worked out. I did not want infidelity to be a factor. But honestly, how can I regret the way that I love her? How do I apologize for what she feels just as strongly for me? She means the world to me, so I won't give her up or apologize to anyone for falling in love with Rose."

I had him speechless. I'd handled this as best as I could, hoping still that he wouldn't haul off and hit me, but with nothing more to say, I left him to think whatever he would from this point forward.

Somewhere along the line, I had come to the realization that Adrian made himself out to be a bigger "victim" than he needed to. He had a very warped version of the truth floating around his medicated spirit-powered head, and I was not going to lay myself out at his mercy because he wanted to martyr himself further. I had also made the decision to tell Rose about my short near sexual encounter with Tasha. I figured if I could be so upfront with Adrian about my feelings for Rose, then I could tell my girlfriend about something that happened before I knew what I wanted. I did not want to hurt her, but I would deal with any consequences by this disclosure.

After that decision was made, I had one more thing to do before the Queen's return with my Rose. I tirelessly searched my storage locker for nearly an hour before locating what I needed, putting the item safely in my pocket.

 **Was it okay? Did you like it?**

 **Now that I have decided to do one more chapter for the conversation between Rose and Dimitri, I'm going to add another conversation in between Dimitri and Lissa as well. Look for it by this weekend at the latest. Please tell me what you think of this chapter. I see you all are reading and enjoying the story, and it pleases me so much. Thank you for reading. Final chapter on its way.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: T all of my wonderful readers, Here is the final chapter to "Contrition". For those who think I would actually break up our Romitri…I would never dream of such a blasphemous act. Hahaha. Enjoy the chapter. Happy Reading.**

Chapter Four

Christian and I were in the coffee house together when the notice was proclaimed. The Queen and her guardians had returned safely. We'd been sitting in silence, impatiently waiting for the last hour. My second cup of coffee had gone cold at least twenty minutes ago, and Christian had been too anxious to get more than his first latte down. We didn't sit for much longer, looking at one another for less than ten more seconds before calmly standing, tossing the remainder of our coffee, and setting out the door.

Once out of the establishment, Christian punched my arm playfully as we walked.

"My guess is Lissa is going straight to her residence, and Rose will be with her." He lifted his brow. "Race you."

Before I could respond, he was off, running full speed in the right direction, dodging passed other Moroi. I was not about to let him win or leave my sight. I took off sprinting, catching up to him in no time, but careful not to get too far ahead. It was my job to protect Christian from all directions, and if anything happened with him running behind me, it would be too late. I paced myself just enough, allowing him to get ahead a few times. Once we were close enough to the Royal residence, I made sure Christian knew he would never outrun his guardian.

"One of these days, I will beat you." Christian joked.

I laughed with him, partly because I knew that was never going to happen, and partly because of my good mood. I made a mental note to start getting Christian to run with me when I trained. If he was going to continue learning to fight at any point, I was going to teach him. And before he could get to that point, he would get stronger.

"Christian!" We both heard the happy cry from our Queen.

Rose stood at her side. Our eyes met and my heart lifted. Before we could reveal our relationship, Rose had often come to me. Things were different now. I couldn't place the shift in our relationship exactly, but I think subconsciously I was trying to make up for not running straight to her after my restoration back to a Dhampir. Lissa ran to Christian, lifted into his arms as she reached him. I watched them for a brief moment before my attention was back to my Rose. She was less than ten-feet from me. It took no time at all before I was holding her, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and perfume. I breathed a contented sigh. She was in my arms.

Once Christian and Lissa were settled and safe, the pair was happily cuddled on a large couch, insistent that Rose and I leave to enjoy our time off. Rose sent me a look from a few feet away, not needing to be told twice.

"That sounds like a great idea." She made her way to me, linking our fingers, pulling me towards the door.

We were turned, ready to leave our friends to their own fun when Lissa's hand placed to my arm, stopped me.

"Before you go," She spoke. Her voice was no longer timid. She was learning to be much more commanding as the Moroi ruler, "Dimitri, may I speak with you?"

"Of course." I gave her a sharp nod, looking to Rose again. She was heading to our shared townhouse, just across from where Lissa and Christian lived.

Lissa grabbed her sun umbrella before we took off a short distance away from where Rose and two other guardians still kept watch.

"I want to talk to you about Christian." Lissa explained. "How is he after…?"

I assumed she was referring to the unfortunate ending between Christian and Tasha.

"I feel so horrible that I couldn't be here for him when they took her. The Conta's and the Voda's were a little to adamant that I stay longer. Honestly, if not for Rose, I think we'd be gone another six weeks."

I smiled, knowing Rose could be convincing in any situation. "We are happy to have you all back safely your… Lissa." Every so often I still had to catch myself from using her title when we were all together in private. Lissa had insisted right after her Coronation that I start referring to her by her name at these times, seeing as we'd be together for a long time to come.

"Christian is coping. It isn't easy to see. He has had a long time to learn to bottle and hide what he is feeling, but…"

"But you see it too." Lissa noticed, her hand taking mine as we stopped walking.

I nodded again in acknowledgment. "He will survive this too. It will not be without its struggles. He already has an uphill battle after his parents…"

"/I'm glad he will have you by his side during the times that I cannot be Dimitri." The Queen leaned in closer, kissing my cheek sweetly. "Thank you." She said, dropping my hand then, walking back to where Christian waited.

Once I opened the door to the home Rose and I had made together here at Court, I didn't see her anywhere.

"Rose?" I called her name. Her black sweater was laying on a the recliner in the corner, followed soon by her white button-up shirt on the floor in the hallway. In fact, she left a trail of clothing all the way to the bedroom door.

The door was open, and when I rounded the corner, I stopped in place, my breath catching in my throat. She always took my breath away. She stood beside the large four-poster bed, looking exquisitely sexy. Because most of her clothing had been stripped off on her way through the residence, she now only wore her dark blue lace bra (the one she knew was my favorite on her), and her matching boy-shorts, that clung tightly to her soft hips.

"Hey Comrade. I believe you were promised a large amount of comforting when I returned." Her voice was low and seductive, causing most of my reasonable thought to exit the building.

"Roza." I barely got her name out.

I needed to talk to her. I knew that I needed to talk to her. I just wasn't entirely sure what I was supposed to talk to her about anymore. She was moving closer to me slowly, no hesitation in her goal. Everything in me started to change. How the hell could one woman have so much control over me with such little effort? How could she make me feel as though every cell in my body was ready to implode? All sense of coherent thought and logic had since become a puddle in my toes. Our passion unleashed itself quickly, seeing no need to slow.

The lightest touch of her fingertips moving into my hair was enough to send me soaring, but the moment her lips touched to mine, that familiar wonderful spark of electric heat driving us both to immense levels of desire, made me only want to concentrate on the woman pressing her body to mine. She was unbuttoning my shirt as I picked her up, lifting her so that her eyes were level to mine. I walked her back to the bed, laying her down as I hovered over her for only seconds. We were both completely undressed in record time. The air around us filled with magic and light for hours, urging every touch, every whisper, every intense emotion to heighten. Lying in bed together afterwards, wrapped in each other's arms, was bliss. I had a thought, and started to think about what Tasha had said about Rose not being perfect. She had a valid point. I was no where near sainthood myself, but the small moments Rose and I had together; those moments that proved true love existed, were perfect. Moments like this after-burn were without equal.

Thinking about my conversation with Tasha meant that rational thought was in fact returning. Rose and I still needed to talk.

"I had a meeting with Alberta the other day." I decided it might be best to start with the lesser of three evils. "She wanted to question me about my relationship with you, when it had started, and how far it got back at St. Vladimir's."

Rose had been running her fingers over my thigh, drawing small designs during the silence, but her fingers had since stopped, her hand lifting to my chest as she sat up.

"Are we in danger of her discovering anything that happened before graduation?" Rose sounded worried for the first time, and I didn't understand it. We had been gone from the Academy for enough time now, and she had never given the impression of worry back then. She had been the more uncontrolled one between us at that point, willing me to test waters that should've been off limits.

"I don't think we are in any danger at all Roza." I pulled her shoulders back down to lay beside me, kissing her sweetly and with a need for her. "She actually seemed happy knowing that we have found each other.' I said once the kiss ended.

I ran my fingers up her inner thigh, watching affectionately as her eyes closed, fluttering slightly as her head tilted back a few inches. My mouth gravitated to her skin, kissing her neck, moving to her shoulders while my hands touched to every memorized part of her always stunning body. Rose pulled me as close as we could get, enjoying every part of me as well.

"Dimitri." She whispered softly into my ear, causing the little self-control I had regained to disappear again.

I found it impossible to keep any part of me from her. Once the sun had fully set and night had rolled around, I was still wide awake, not wanting to miss even a minute with her beside me. After losing so much in such a short amount of time, I had now regained everything I needed most in my life. Nothing was perfect yet, but thanks to Rose, I was on the right path. One day perfection might be closer. Rose had fallen asleep, curled up close to me, and the feel of her against me still gave me strength, but there was something I needed to do before she and I continued inching closer to the discussions I needed to have with her. Carefully, I moved her to the side, trying to remove myself from the bed without waking her.

I left Rose a note on the bedside table just in case she woke up in the next thirty-minutes. I had to run an errand on the hope that she wouldn't be too upset after talking about Tasha. I had to take a shot, so I finished getting dressed and left. By the time I'd returned, Rose was awake, dressed casually, unpacking her things since returning. My arms rapped around her waist as I came to stand behind her.

"Did I tell you that I missed you?" She half-questioned, leaning comfortably back into me.

I chuckled softly, holding her a bit tighter. "I got the feeling you missed me somewhere along the third time you undressed me."

I could feel her smile.

"You were trying to get away."

"Never Roza." I said. "I would never willingly try to get away from you again."

"You were gone when I woke up."

I loosened my hold, feeling her shift around to look up at me. "I had something to take care of." I vaguely told her.

"Something more important than lying naked in bed with me?"

I shook my head with a short scoff, but I genuinely smiled. "I can guarantee there is nothing more important or better than lying naked in bed with you." I lowered my head, kissing her yet again. "Roza," I said, suddenly feeling uneasy. If we kept this up, I'd never get the chance to talk to her seriously. I backed away as tension filled every muscle in my body.

"I need to talk to you about Tasha." I got the words out, and there was no turning back.

Rose always knew my serious tone of voice, so when I sat down on the edge of the bed, she sat beside me, taking my hand with hers.

"Do you want to talk about what happened when you went to see her?" She asked me, assuming this was the 'Tasha moment' I was referring to.

"No Roza, my love." I needed to tell her how much I loved her. "There is something I have to tell you. I should've told you sooner, but I think I was afraid you might think less of me."

I felt her hand lift up, touching my shoulder and my neck, soothing my nerves that were now on high alert. "Dimitri, I could never think any less of you."

Hearing that made me feel marginally more confident in doing this. I turned to face her, keeping my hands to her skin.

"Back at Christmas, when we were at the lodge during those Strigoi attacks," I knew I had to take this slow. There were other memories of that time that Rose and I were both still sensitive to, "I had a moment of weakness."

"What sort of weakness?"

"I was doing my rounds through the hallways when I inadvertently saw you and Mason kissing pretty heatedly. I…" I searched desperately to find the best way to talk to her. Her head lowered. I knew she was also thinking about Mason.

"I was so jealous and possessive." Her eyes then shot back up to me in shock. "I had no right to feel that way about you then, but I hated that he had you in a way that I couldn't. It killed me to see you kiss him the way that you kissed me when we were under Victor's charm. It hurt me so much."

I noticed now that I had her full attention. She was looking back at me with what I gathered might be disbelief.

"After my shift that day, I was still worked up and hurt, so I went to the first person I thought of who wasn't you."

"Tasha." Rose guessed.

My head lowered slightly, feeling guilt press down on me again.

"Please tell me you didn't have sex with Tasha Ozera." Her voice was pleading, and it furthered every bit of this guilt.

"I went to her hotel room. I knocked on her door, and the next thing I knew we were kissing, nearly undressed, and in her bed before I stopped myself."

"You stopped?" My statement caught her by surprise just as much as hers did me. "Why?"

She wanted to know why I had cut the intimate encounter short? This was even more surprising. My index finger rose, drawing a line down her cheek, allowing me to gaze into those hypnotizing eyes I loved so much.

"I didn't think it was right for me to be with her when I wanted it to be you beneath me. That was when my internal spiral started. I couldn't stop picturing you in that bed with me, but I wasn't able to face my own emotions because I had never been that undone." My hands moved around her, and up her back as she leaned in to kiss me. I pulled her closer, moving her to straddle my lap.

Keeping my thoughts and words on track, I leaned back a little bit. "I was conflicted about us only in the sense that I didn't know how we could be together, and I did not know how to accept that you already knew parts of me that no one else did. I was never confused about how much I wanted to be with you, or that I wanted to keep falling in love with you."

The light touch of her palms around my wrists made me think that there would never be a day when we could control ourselves enough to not want to touch. She had my wrists gripped tight, pushing me back onto the bed so that she was again on top of me. At least she was dressed, but really, dressed or not, it didn't make her any less of a temptation to me. She held me firmly in place, and I wasn't sure what to expect.

"I have a few points to address now." Rose spoke, setting worry into me. "First, you stated that you saw me kiss Mason the same way I had kissed you." She leaned down to my ear, teasing me. "Do you not know…have you not always known that I have never kissed anyone like I do you. Nothing compares to kissing you." Shifting her hips, she sat up. "Second, now that I know about Tasha, we should both lock that memory up, and toss it out the window."

I searched her face, looking for a sign of anger or betrayal. Nothing. "You're not mad?"

"Mad?" She gave me a smile that could make everything seem better in an instant. She also let my wrists go. "No. I could choose to be angry, but the truth is I'm not. At that point, I couldn't have you the way I wanted either. We were both in confusing positions then, and it was unclear what would happen with us, so I can't really resent you for running to someone who could give you what I couldn't… even if it was her."

I felt exhilarated. I felt as though everything would fall into place very soon. And then I felt the heat only she could cause in me rising all over again.

"Roza...my Roza." I said as I kissed her again. We stayed in bed longer, kissing, touching, holding, and just being with each other. Again, it was the best feeling in the world after all of the bad was starting to disappear.

"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" Rose asked, as we both sat up.

I kissed her again, holding on to her hand, pulling her to a stand. "There is one more thing." I said. "But you have to come with me."

She cocked her head sideways. "We're leaving the bedroom? I'm not sure I like that idea."

I pulled her again, coaxing her out of our bedroom, further and further away from the bed that was so dangerous to us right now. "I guarantee it will be worth it, and you might even get a present."

This piqued her interest enough to follow me, slowly and sadly walking out the door of our room, followed by the front door. We walked slowly, arm in arm, hand in hand, and then wrapped up together, making our way to a small park on the opposite end of royal housing. The air was crisp, but not cold. Still, I wrapped my coat around both of us. Once we reached the park, I led Rose to a small ornate stone bench in the middle of the area. It sat under a tree, so that during the day it was shaded enough. There was a small pond a few feet away that usually held small wildlife like ducks and geese. Right now it was quiet and still. Everything was still as we sat together. We waited on the bench for another five minutes before small lights lit up all of the trees in the park. It was amazing. Everything looked so perfect. Especially Rose.

"Roza, I want to give you something." I told her.

She didn't move yet, and neither did I. But I reached into the pocket of my coat, pulling out the item I'd kept hidden, even from myself for over a year now. I swallowed hard, feeling nerves build in me again. Gathering my courage, I took her hand, showing her the small silver ring.

Rose looked positively shaken and nervous when she saw that I was giving her a ring.

"Dim… I…we aren't…" She even stuttered, unable to calm down enough to speak.

"Rose." I stopped her. "Relax. It's not what you think." I smiled, seeing her relax some. "This is a ' _Claddagh ring'_. I got it from a good friend of mine shortly before finding you and Lissa." I turned the ring over in my fingers. "My friend insisted that I give this ring to the woman I want to commit my life and heart to." I took her right hand, slipping the ring onto her finger. "It's said that if you wear this ring facing inward, it indicates that someone has captured your heart."

I heard her breath out heavily then.

"Oh, you have my heart Dimitri, but I don't need a ring to prove that to you. I don't need you to prove anything either."

It felt so wonderful to know that I had found the right person for me. I had found the best person for me. "This ring belongs to you Roza. I love you so much." I kissed her forehead, feeling her hand wrap around my neck again. "I should've given it to you sooner."

"I love you." She replied, pulling me down to kiss her again.

There was no one around us, but being outdoors kept us a bit more reserved in our embrace. Afterwards, we sat longer, watching the wind swirl through the trees and ripple the water. It was another perfect moment. When the time came to leave, and return to the quiet of our town-home, I helped Rose to stand, feeling her tense as her eyes shifted to the side of me. A shadow had spooked her, and seeing who claimed ownership to the shadow was even more of a shock to her.

Adrian.

He had been walking by outside of the park as we were readying to leave. He didn't stop. I don't even think he saw us, but the sighting brought back more guilt in Rose.

"He's still having a hard time, but he doesn't believe what happened between us is all your fault anymore." I honestly told her as we walked.

She stopped just behind me. "You talked to Adrian?" She was not happy about this. Honestly, I thought she would've been angrier about Tasha than Adrian.

"Yes." I said.

"Why? Why would you do that? What did he say? How was he?"

Wow, she had a lot of questions. And I knew why. Ever since they'd had their "talk" after she was in recovery from a gunshot…Damn Tasha for that… Adrian had intentionally been keeping his distance from Rose. If Rose showed up while Adrian was with Lissa, he made an excuse to disappear. If Rose was already with Lissa, Adrian would change his mind and return when he didn't have to see her.

"I had to try to talk to him. I've been getting weary of the death glares I receive on a regular basis from him." I sighed, feeling as though I should've tried harder to get Adrian to talk to Rose again. "I've never been hated by anyone who wasn't Strigoi. It's an awful feeling."

I relaxed more as Rose approached me, hugging herself to me, stroking my hair methodically as she did.

"How did he look? He can't be doing any better now with everything else falling apart for his family. He is closer to his mom than his dad."

I gave her a look of question. I had no clue what she was referring to.

"Adrian's mom." She repeated.

"What about her?"

"You haven't heard? The Alchemists are pissed that she stole those records about Lissa's dad, and they want her to pay a high price. The Moroi Court is also going after her on other charges. I'm not as clear on those details, but Lissa is fairly certain they will convict her for something." Rose looked sad now. Putting my arm around her, I felt her cuddle in closer.

"Speaking of Court, I should probably inform you that we are going to have to return to Baia soon." She then said without missing a beat.

"Baia?" I questioned. Pulling away to stare at her. "Why are we going to Russia?"

"Since you were restored, and the Moroi Court has even given you the job of being an Ozera guard, the Guardian Council decided to officially tell your family that you are not dead-that you are not Strigoi."

"Why? Why? When? Why didn't I know they were discussing that?" I was trying to process what she had just told me. I had questions. I had even more fears. I was having severe reservations of facing my family after they heard what I had become.

Rose had no other answers to ease my discomfort. "I only just found out a few hours ago because the Council had to notify the Moroi Queen. She thought I might want to be the one to give you a head's up." She was looking back at me with concern.

"This is a good thing Dimitri. They love you so much. They need to know."

She was right. My family did need to know that I was alive and a Dhampir Guardian again, but those fears and nightmares of what I'd done would resurface. I didn't want to think about that right now though. I wanted to be happy. I was one step closer to getting Rose to marry me. I had given her a ring that had special meaning to us both now, and she had accepted it without a fight. This was a good start.

"Let's go home Roza."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Back to our bed?"

I fought the smile daring to escape. "You really are incorrigible."

"That is not an answer." She teased me by moving her hand under my shirt.

I gave her my best ' _If I Must'_ sigh. "Forget the Strigoi. You're going to kill me with sex." I pulled both my arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "Let's go home-back to our bed."

 **FINAL NOTES:**

 **So, that is the end. I gave us resolution (more or less) between Dimitri and Tasha; I made sure that Alberta is not angry with Dimitri and Rose; And as much as I could, I gave a little peace to the triangle (Dimitri, Rose, and Adrian). I did not resolve the whole Adrian/Rose breakup and recovery completely for good reason. Sydney.**

 **As many know, Richelle Mead brought Adrian the gift of Sydney Sage. That is where Adrian's character finds happiness and peace.**

 **I do hope you all enjoyed this short ride. I am starting a new longer VA fic this weekend. Chapters will be up soon (readers will find out where Dimitri got the ring—who gave it to him).**

 **Thanks for reading everyone. Cheers.**


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